It's the weather, stupid

So, it's Monday night. I am really pooped trying to get to the bottom of my chemo psyche. Angela thinks I think too much. 'Why can't you just be? Accept you are human?' - she admonished me.

Right.

Wrong. It's the weather, stupid!

At least, that's what the women in my Medical Qigong class said. To my utter relief they also felt fuzzy and unfocused and slow on the uptake. Dr B.O., the Qigong master explained that some people are very susceptible to atmospheric pressure changes and it's quite normal for many people - even healthy ones - to feel out of sorts on days like today.

Well, of course I knew that, because I used to have my adrenal 'episodes' (too long to explain here) when the weather changed, but as the new aches and pains overshadow the old ones, I forget how bad those were and worry about what's going on today.

Maybe Angela is right. Maybe I analyse too much and maybe life would be easier if I gave up the fight and just learned to go with the flow. But again, that may not be such a good idea.

Dr. B.O. also explained that, if one gives up – like succumb to chemo-brain and avoid doing difficult mental things, or not use one's limbs because it hurts – that is a recipe for disaster and for not improving. You know, the old 'use it or lose it' principle.

So, what did I learn today?

Stay cool. The chemo fog comes and goes. It's not as bad as it could be, or as it is for other people.

So, complain if you want, but don't give up.

Do the swimming, the dragon boating and the Qigong. Most importantly, if the freelance assignment is difficult, do another one, and another one after that, until it becomes less so. (I was telling Sue earlier today that if this next lot is too hard, I may give that up).

Well, I guess that's enough education for one day. Good night.

What's this?

It's a dull, dour, bleak Monday morning. Yesterday it was so hot I was swimming in my own sweat – no need for a pool. Today, it's windy and decidedly cold. Just because I had my car washed yesterday, I am certain of that.

In any case, feeling more comfortable in my skin, I took my cup of coffee and started to read the Sunday paper. Just the Extra section that doesn't really require much brain power. Says who?

I am quietly sipping that coffee, the words dance on the page and I realise that whatever I am reading is definitely not going in at the knobby end. What's going on here? I read again, and it took three times of reading before the meaning of the sentence was clear. Ouch!

So, it's not just the technical stuff, and it's not all the time either, because, believe it or not, I have been reading books since I had the chemo brain. So, what's the answer? I am meeting with the lovely Angela today and will get to the crux of the matter. Stay tuned.