A new chapter
It's hard to believe that it's already October. Where did September go? That's what happens when you are feeling healthy, having fun and are surrounded by family and friends, whose love and laughter makes you forget the aches and pains of the past. Well, almost.
This week started with a holiday - Labour Day. That helped getting over the jetlag from coming back from the USA. Monday I met with a new customer for freelancing and got a good assignment. Tuesday I returned to the phone interviewing temping job I did before the big C hit. Everyone was wonderful, but I fell apart after 4 hours and had to go home. Yesterday, I cleaned the house and did some research for the freelance story and had supper with my friends Judy and John. By 10pm I was catatonic.
Not to worry. It seems to me that everything is going fine and in a few weeks everything should be back to normal – well, as normal as possible, given that I will be going to a lot of cancer related exercises and things.
In any case, assessing the situation, let me say that going on this 7 week holiday was the best thing I could have done to round off this year of horror that I just passed through. Apart from seeing Tunde and his new family and all my old friends from my youth, it provided a clear demarcation between my state of 'sickness' and 'health'. Coming back on the airplane, and this past Tuesday, I was extremely conscious that I was coming back to a new life, that all things of the past were well and truly gone (including family angst) and Tuesday would be the first day of the rest of my life. So, the future looks rosy and, even though I get easily tired, I feel that the best of things are still to come.
One sign for this optimism is that ordinary, everyday things are not such a drag. A few months ago I couldn't bear the thought of cleaning and paid heavy dollars for cleaners to come and do a half-assed job. Yesterday I whizzed through the house, vacuuming and washing floors, wondering why it was ever such a pain, and absolutely not wanting anyone else to do the job for me. Just as well, I suppose, since a year of unemployment made a big hole in the finance department, and you will all be happy to know that I am actually watching what I spend.
Besides focusing on the future and my ability to earn a living (not ready for retirement, sorry), the reality of the cancer is still very much around. My feet still hurt and it's difficult to wear closed shoes; on a cold day I can still feel my ribs; and on Monday I find out the results of the glucose tolerance test I went through yesterday.
That was a big shock when, just before my departure for Fort Lauderdale, I had the first ever borderline blood glucose level reading of my life. And, spending time with my brother, who has badly managed diabetes, was a sobering wake-up call. So, I changed the way I eat and exercised and dropped 7kgs of the 10kgs I put on during the last year. Maybe that's why I am feeling better. No matter, I bought a book about low GI eating and am in the process of making sure that I stay on the healthy side of gastrointestinal matters. It would be very nice to have a couple of years of good health!
So, the bottom line is that at the moment I am full of beans, looking forwarad to a healthy and productive future - enjoying family and friends and getting on with my writing life and continuing my various volunteer activities. I have gotten into a new habit of saying thanks for my newfound health. I have adapted the sheheheyanu prayer, which basically says: 'Blessed are you......for bringing me to this season,' to 'Blessed are you......for bringing me to this day.' It seems to make a big difference. However, I did notice, that I have lower tolerance for injustice and I cry very easily when I see other people in strife not of their making. I don't know what that is all about, but will surely find out one day.
So, things are looking good. It's Friday morning and I am hoping that I can work the full 6 hours shift today. Now that would be progress!
This week started with a holiday - Labour Day. That helped getting over the jetlag from coming back from the USA. Monday I met with a new customer for freelancing and got a good assignment. Tuesday I returned to the phone interviewing temping job I did before the big C hit. Everyone was wonderful, but I fell apart after 4 hours and had to go home. Yesterday, I cleaned the house and did some research for the freelance story and had supper with my friends Judy and John. By 10pm I was catatonic.
Not to worry. It seems to me that everything is going fine and in a few weeks everything should be back to normal – well, as normal as possible, given that I will be going to a lot of cancer related exercises and things.
In any case, assessing the situation, let me say that going on this 7 week holiday was the best thing I could have done to round off this year of horror that I just passed through. Apart from seeing Tunde and his new family and all my old friends from my youth, it provided a clear demarcation between my state of 'sickness' and 'health'. Coming back on the airplane, and this past Tuesday, I was extremely conscious that I was coming back to a new life, that all things of the past were well and truly gone (including family angst) and Tuesday would be the first day of the rest of my life. So, the future looks rosy and, even though I get easily tired, I feel that the best of things are still to come.
One sign for this optimism is that ordinary, everyday things are not such a drag. A few months ago I couldn't bear the thought of cleaning and paid heavy dollars for cleaners to come and do a half-assed job. Yesterday I whizzed through the house, vacuuming and washing floors, wondering why it was ever such a pain, and absolutely not wanting anyone else to do the job for me. Just as well, I suppose, since a year of unemployment made a big hole in the finance department, and you will all be happy to know that I am actually watching what I spend.
Besides focusing on the future and my ability to earn a living (not ready for retirement, sorry), the reality of the cancer is still very much around. My feet still hurt and it's difficult to wear closed shoes; on a cold day I can still feel my ribs; and on Monday I find out the results of the glucose tolerance test I went through yesterday.
That was a big shock when, just before my departure for Fort Lauderdale, I had the first ever borderline blood glucose level reading of my life. And, spending time with my brother, who has badly managed diabetes, was a sobering wake-up call. So, I changed the way I eat and exercised and dropped 7kgs of the 10kgs I put on during the last year. Maybe that's why I am feeling better. No matter, I bought a book about low GI eating and am in the process of making sure that I stay on the healthy side of gastrointestinal matters. It would be very nice to have a couple of years of good health!
So, the bottom line is that at the moment I am full of beans, looking forwarad to a healthy and productive future - enjoying family and friends and getting on with my writing life and continuing my various volunteer activities. I have gotten into a new habit of saying thanks for my newfound health. I have adapted the sheheheyanu prayer, which basically says: 'Blessed are you......for bringing me to this season,' to 'Blessed are you......for bringing me to this day.' It seems to make a big difference. However, I did notice, that I have lower tolerance for injustice and I cry very easily when I see other people in strife not of their making. I don't know what that is all about, but will surely find out one day.
So, things are looking good. It's Friday morning and I am hoping that I can work the full 6 hours shift today. Now that would be progress!
Labels: breast cancer
posted by Unknown at 9:44 AM
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