Another milestone

It's over! The radiation treatment, that is. As soon as the machine stopped, I burst into tears. I am not sure whether it was tears of joy that the harsh treatment is over, or tears of fear that something else may be now on the horizon. I hope it was the former.

I feel empty. Strangely flat. My breast is dark brown, with large pink blotches where the skin has already peeled off, confirming that life goes on. I have decided to spend the next couple of days making sure that the healing will continue without a hitch. That means more time at home, but luckily I have a lot to do, rewriting the short story I want to submit to a short story competition and trying to flog my screenplay to Hollywood again. OK, so I am a dreamer, but hey, that's better than worrying about the likelyhood of this cancer coming back.

And that is a possibility. I just read about a new study, according to which sometimes it is precisely the treatment protocol I just went through that causes the cancer to come back. No, don't ask ...

I have pretty much decided to take matters into my own hands as soon as the breast has healed and lose all those pounds I've put on in the last seven months, keep eating well, and do a lot of exercise with the Chinese dragon boat racing I said I would join.

So, the plan is in place to get back to health and stay that way. The weird thing is that I still can't think of myself as having been 'sick', as I never had any symptoms of breast cancer. I know that's why they call cancer the 'silent killer', but knowing and 'knowing' seem to be two entirely different things. It is totally crazy, but I feel like I've gone through these last seven-eight months taking on 'faith' that I had cancer.

Well, I guess I'll leave it at that. No use worrying over that now. It's over. Phew! Baruch Hashem! Thank G-d!