2 down, 28 more to go

So, the time has come to jump into the frying pan. Rather, I am happy to report that I have made the jump. Had the first radiation treatment yesterday. True to my resolution, I walked there and back, a total of 4 kms. The weather was cool, so it was easy. Today it suddenly turned hot again and I cheated by taking the bus on the uphill section, but made up by walking a fair distance afterwards, although I cheated and took the bus home.

How do I feel? Very strange. On Sunday the mental fog from the chemotherapy has lifted miraculously, and I was able to focus on various projects and generally enjoy a clear head. My feet are still not right from the chemo, but I have to say that I have been feeling rather good. That's changed as of now.

Tonight, I feel so nauseated, that I had to take one of the antinausea pills I took for chemo, my mouth feels strange and I have absolutely no appetite (no loss, I hear you say).

That is not at all what I expected, and will have to check tomorrow. I was told to expect fatigue after two weeks and that's all. So, what is all this nonsense? I don't like it and I just feel like chucking the whole thing in. Throwing in the towel, as it were.

People keep telling me how strong I am, but believe me I don't feel strong at all at the moment. I just want it to stop. The worst part of it all is that it's all up to me really. I don't think they would say don't do it, but if the cancer came back, then of course, it's my fault. So, it's a bloody quandry, don't you think?