Respite

Ok everyone, let's take a deep breath. Since dispair is not an option, proaction is the operative word on this journey, and that is exactly what I did today with regards to the oncologist issue. And (yes I know the rule is never to start a new sentence with 'and', but this is a 'thank you and') thanks to my great friend Peter J. and my brilliant surgeon, Dr A.S., the switchover to a new oncologist was as easy as pie, with an appointment already secured for Friday. Why did I ever think it would be otherwise?

I spent endless hours wondering how to broach the subject, made inquiries how to go about it, and by this morning I was thoroughly bored with the subject. I had an appointment with Dr A.S. to drain some fluid from the surgery area, so that gave me a perfect entry. But I was still worried, so about two hours before the appointment I felt I should take someone with me. God bless Peter J. for taking the time.

We got there early, so I poured my grieving heart out as I sipped my coffee. Peter listened and started drawing an imaginary Maginot line on the table top.

"So, let's cut to the chase. What's the bottom line?" - he looked me straight in the eye at an auspicious moment as I stopped to breathe.

"What do you mean?" - I looked at him with incomprehension.

"What do you want from this guy?"

"I want a different oncologist!"

"So, can I make a suggestion?"

"Sure."

"Why don't you go in there and tell him just that. Forget the narrative, just tell him what you want."

A light bulb lit up in my addled brain. "What a great idea, why didn't I think of that?"

So, leaving the 'narrative' behind, Dr A.S. saw a confident me sit down with the opening gambit: "We need to talk. Three queen bees in a hive won't work."

How true is that? And he never knew that he has Peter to thank for not getting the whole sorry 'narrative.'

And that's a good lesson I will remember the next time I cogitate into the night. "What is the bottom line? What do I really want?"

Thanks Peter, I needed that!